For those of you who partake (or have ever partaken) in the therapy of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) the phrase “I completely and deeply accept myself” will be no stranger to you. It’s a phrase I’ve been using whilst practicing EFT on myself and with clients for about 8 years (that’s a funny thought for me as I hadn’t realised it had been so long!). It’s a phrase that I had been saying, as part of that therapy, without totally acknowledging what I was really saying. I just knew that doing the tapping and saying the words, “Even though I xxx (insert issue, fear or block here) I deeply and profoundly accept myself, the issue being tapped upon began to release completely.

Now let me assure you this isn’t a big advert about EFT, although if it intrigues you enough to try it then brilliant!. It was that last sentence “I deeply and profoundly accept myself” that very recently has really begun to strike a cord with me.

When it comes to stresses, blocks, and fears in our life, how often have you found yourself pushing them away, denying them, hiding them, or just plain old ignoring them? I’ve done this countless times and done the whole “hiding one’s head in the sand” thing. Of course, on the surface everything appears all hunky dory (we like to think!) and yet underneath, deep in the subconscious, that little whirring machine is revolving round and round and round the issue or situation that’s really going on. Our subconscious wants us to notice what’s going on around and will do whatever it can to keep us alerted to it. Why? Because it’s trying to keep us safe!

Let’s face it, if you notice a poisonous snake slithering toward you and you just ignore it, hoping it will go away, you’re like to get end up wishing you hadn’t after it has bitten you!

Life is a bit like that too. Things happen around us that will often haven an impact upon our lives and the more we ignore it, the louder it gets. Just like a child that wants attention – his/her behaviour can often get more and more outrageous or aggressive until he/she is noticed. Our physical bodies behave similarly – the more we ignore a particular pain (hoping it will go away) the more the body will make us aware of it.

What’s the answer? Depends really on what the thing is that’s “shouting” to get your attention! But rest assured, if you ignore it, you can be your bottom dollar that it’ll come and bite you on your sweet ass at the least helpful or expected moment!

So let me take you right back to the beginning of this musing… I mentioned “I deeply and profoundly accept myself”. Just take a moment to think about that phrase. What does it mean to you? Do you really feel like you accept yourself completely and unconditionally? Perhaps you do. Perhaps you don’t. But, one thing you can do is accept that that’s just the way it is right now. Do you get that?! You may not accept yourself completely, but it is quite possible to accept that, right now, you don’t accept yourself completely and unconditionally.

Sit with that paragraph above for a minute or two and really allow it to ruminate. Denying that something is happening is one sure way of causing so much dis-ease (and I do mean Dis Ease, i.e. lack of ease) in your life that you make yourself ill. Not only that, you make yourself (and probably others around you) even more miserable.

A great amount of relief can be found in the statement “I accept what is”. It doesn’t mean you cannot change the situation, or that you’re giving up, or that you’re “less than”. It just means you’re totally aware and accepting of the situation as it is right now. You’re acknowledging it.

Just like with a child, or illness, the minute you start to acknowledge it, it can begin to calm down and change.

Acknowledging something and accepting that that’s the way it is right now, is not the same as dwelling on it and causing yourself to feel crappy and fearful. The former can be very self empowering as it’s often acknowledging a situation that’s the hardest part of beginning the change process! Once acknowledged, you can then find thoughts that feel better, to allow yourself to transform it to something so much better.

To summarise then… accept what is, no matter what it is, and then find thoughts that feel better in order to change your life to be more the way you want it to be.

“Even though my life isn’t the way I want it to be right now…. I deeply and profoundly accept myself anyway”. And so it is…

When it comes to life and challenges that face us, we’re often focusing upon phrases such as “What if it all goes wrong?”. There are numerous negative endings to the “What if…” question:

- What if they hate me
- What if they reject me
- What if it all goes wrong
- What if it fails
- What if I don’t succeed
- What if I’m just setting myself up for a fall

I’m sure you can think of a few more that you may recognise yourself using regularly. We have this tendency to focus upon the “what if …” negatively happens in our lives. Bearing in mind energy follows thought, and it’s our thoughts and feelings that create our reality, it’s not surprising that the very “what if” that we feared actually does come to pass!

However, we live in a Universe of limitless possibility. So absolutely anything IS possible. Bearing that in mind, what if it all went right? Ooh now there’s a fresh way of looking at things. Dare we even look at them? How about these in opposition to the ones above:

- What if they really like me
- What if they totally accept me
- What if it all goes right
- What if it goes really well
- What if I DO succeed
- What if I’m setting myself up for great success

On the surface that all looks brilliant doesn’t it! All those positive statements. New ways of looking at things that we don’t normally. BUT what if we avoided those “what ifs” for the good reason that we’re actually terrified that it could all go well?! Ever thought about that?! That the very thing you subconsciously fear is not that it goes horribly wrong… but that it goes “horribly right”. And I do mean “horribly right”.

Take a moment to think about something you are thinking about doing but your immediate thoughts are “what if I don’t succeed”. Make it something that you feel you really want and that you feel would bring you happiness if it happened for you. Now. Put yourself into a picture of actually having achieved it. You’ve got that promotion, or that raise, or that new home, or new lover, or new car, or that holiday, etc etc. See yourself with it, and then visualise yourself telling people around you and showing the what you’ve manifested for yourself. See the looks on their faces. Hear what they’re saying. Notice any resistance? When I do this exercise with clients they’re often surprised that what they’re seeing in their visualization is a lot of resentment and dislike from others who are jealous.

What I’m getting at here is, often the reason we don’t succeed at things is because we don’t want to because we fear what others will think of us if we do! Imagine telling people around you how easy it is for you to manifest money? Or go on expensive holidays twice a year? Or have a beautiful loving relationship? Or have a wonderful job that you love going to? Or that everything in your life flows really easily and effortlessly? Or that you won the lottery!?!!!!

Now I know some of these examples I’ve given are pretty generic… but then most people have, at some point in their life (previously or now) wanted those things, and often haven’t had them because they block themselves for fear of actually having them.

An exercise you might like to try is to look at something (a situation, challenge, something material) that you want to manifest or experience and the initial reasons you are fearing it (i.e all the negative what ifs). Then turn those negative what ifs into positive what ifs. Then visualise yourself telling everyone around you that you that you HAVE got what you wanted and how easy it was for you to receive it. See what kind of response you get.

If you get a negative emotional response to the negative what ifs AND the positive what ifs, then it’s worth doing some work on releasing and changing them for something that feels better. If you don’t , you can probably kiss goodbye to whatever it is you want to create or manifest.

Remember, often our greatest fear is not that we will fail… but that will succeed.

This morning I was doing some EFT around success and financial abundance and I was surprised to find that the following statements had an emotional charge for me:

I’m scared I won’t be able to meet new challenges
I’m afraid I will get overwhelmed by all the opportunities available
I’m scared people will resent me for my success
I’m afraid people will revere me for my success
If I get rid of all my issues my life will become dull
If I learn everything I think I need to learn my life will be boring
I’m not sure what would come next if I deal with my blocks to abundance
I’m afraid people will resent me for having lots of money
I’m afraid people will judge me on how I spend my money
I’m afraid people will judge me on how I spend my day
I’m terrified people will see me as lazy if I don’t have to work
It’s wrong to have money and not to work in conventional sense
I might get bored having so much money I don’t have to work
I’m worried people might just like me for my money
I’m worried people will beg me for money and I won’t like to say no
I’m worried I’ll waste my money and end up with nothing
I’m worried I might become so tight with money that I become unhappy
I’m worried I might get fatter if I have so much money I don’t know what to do with it
I’m worried about having so much money I don’t know what to do with it
I’m worried that if money comes too easily to me I won’t feel like I’ve earned it
I will feel guilty if I’m earning lots of money and my friends aren’t

Do any of those statements above have an emotional charge for you? Does your stomach tighten? Does your body become tense? Did you try to push the statements away quickly? Did you judge any of them?

it's amazing how you can think you've got all this stuff cleared and then, when you got a bit deeper, you realise that there are underlying limiting beliefs and blocks that you didn't realise you had.

If any of those statements above did have an emotional response for you, then doing something like EFT, or NLP, or affirmations can help to dissolve and replace them with something more helpful. Naturally if you'd like some help with that... I am available and have discounted my rates for new clients until the end of the month!

There's no time like the present to heal and change your relationship with success and abundance. What are you waiting for? What are YOUR downsides of you dealing with your issues around success and abundance? Unless and until you deal with them, you'll never have it comfortably, if at all.

Welcome to my first communication to you for 2012! Welcome also to my first newsletter in quite some time! I think it's important only to contact people when I feel I have something of value to share, so you can rest assured that I will never bombard you with hundreds of emails trying sell to you or that contact useless information (at least I hope it's not useless!)

This Newsletter, probably unsurprisingly given the time of year, is very much focused on goals and aims and creating the life that you want. I hope that you find what I've shared useful - but if you haven't feel free to email me to let me know why.

You will probably here lots throughout this year of different theories about what might happen during 2012: The world will end; The world won't end; The world will change completely; The world will stay the same; Aliens will take over; Aliens will beam us off, and so on. I won't bore you with my own particular theories, but I will say this: 2012, just like all the years before it, will be whatever you want it to be. Whatever you wish to create and experience in your life is completely possible. The question is: what do you want to create and experience?

So on that note, I will leave you with the rest of my newsletter. May it bring you clarity, focus, and a smile or two.

With love and blessings always
Alun Illumine

Articles in this Newsletter:

- New Year Resolutions
- What Do You Want?
- Raising Your Energy And Vibration
- EFT For Setting Goals And Aims

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New Year Resolutions

New Year Resolutions - do you make them? Did you make them this year? If you did, are you one of those, many, who start with well meaning intentions but after about 4-6 weeks find yourself slipping? Or are you one of the few who actually manage to keep them up? There is no judgement here - just observation.

The problem with resolutions is that many people feel they "should" be making them rather than actually wanting to. The other thing is, many try to give something up or start doing something that they feel they "should". There's a huge amount of peer pressure about resolutions - lots of people asking "so what have you given up then?" It's almost like deciding once a year to get a really heavy brick and drop it on your foot "because that's what you do once a year at this time of the year"! Aaaargh!

Now I'm not saying DON'T make resolutions - I'm saying, decide what you really want to do and then be focused about it. And by that I mean - decide what you really want. For example, if you want to give up smoking - think about why you want to give it up. Are they your own reasons or reasons that other people have given you? Do you want to give it up for yourself or for other people? Whilst it's good to listen to and take in other people's opinions about these things, value and honour your own feelings and wishes.

So... rather than making resolutions... why not set yourself goals and aims instead... Do you really have to give something up completely or can it be a phased goal? For example, if you want to give up eating chocolate do you need to give it completely and why should you? Why not just cut down from, say, 5 bars a week to 3.

Give yourself goals and aims and make them clear. Ask yourself these questions:
How will I know when I've achieved it? (What will I see, feel, and hear)
What are the milestones along the way?
By when do I want to achieve it? (and is that date realistic and does it feel good?)
What support will I need along the way and from whom?
How will I reward and motivate myself as I progress?
What am I doing or what I have I done in the past that has helped me achieve this?
What am I doing or what have I done in the past that has hindered me achieving this?
What's the first thing I will do, right now, to start myself along the path of change?

Remember, goals don't just have to be about giving something up, losing weight, or getting a new job. They can also be about removing fears and phobias, dissolving blocks that are holding you back, or increasing self confidence. Importantly, they can also be about fun things too - like places to visit, things you want to experience, things you've always wanted to try. Allow yourself to dream about all the things you've wanted to do or try and think about how you could incorporate them into your aims for the year.

Of course, it's good to work with a coach when setting your goals and aims for the year (or whatever other time period works for you). If you need help thinking about where you are now, where you want to be, and how you're going to get there.... Please contact me. You don't have to try and get through life alone. By working with me you will benefit from having someone from the outside supporting and encouraging you, giving you an honest and objective viewpoint, and the benefit of my (cough) 20 years' of experience of helping people set and achieve their aims. Plus I'll be happy to chivvy you along when you need a bit of a gentle nudge! (In a supportive way of course!).

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What Do You Want?

In relation to the article above about setting Goals
and Aims for
the year, I wanted to go into a bit more depth about what you want, why you want it, and why it's worth thinking about.

One of the ways to really know what you want is understanding why you want it. Is it a lover you want or to feel loved? Is it losing weight that you really want or just to feel good about yourself and how you look? Is it a promotion you really want or to feel like you're going up in the world? Do you see? Often it's not the actual "thing" that we want, it's the feeling behind it. Can you honestly say that the onlyway to feel loved is by having a lover? What about self love? Love from friends? Love from family? Love from the Universe/God? Love from your pets? There are so many kinds of love and the most important one of all - is self love. When you love yourself, you love everyone else too and vice versa. Why? Because nothing is really separate. Separation is an illusion. So the more you love yourself, the more you'll experience love in your life. So, is it really a lover you still want, or ways to help you love yourself more completely and unconditionally? The wonderful irony is... when you love yourself completely, your lover will turn up even more quickly! Makes you think doesn't it ;-)

Changing the focus slightly, let's talk about the Universe/God and how it works. The Universe will always respond to what you're focusing upon and how you're feeling about it. So when you focus upon thinking about all the things you want to experience, create, and manifest the Universe is getting clear instructions and guidance on what to send you. If you're all wishy washy and unclear then that's totally what you'll get back from life. This is why thinking about and focusing upon your goals and aims is such a helpful and positive thing. It gives the Universe clear instructions on what to bring you. It gives you excitement and pleasure about knowing it's on it's way so that you can enjoy the journey to receive it. It gives your life purpose and meaning, especially in those times when we get a bit lost or confused - we can go back to our list of goals and aims to refocus.

Of course, as we progress throughout the year, our focus, and our goals and aims, may well change. What you thought you wanted at the beginning of the year may no longer be relevant halfway through. Or you may have achieved it. Or you may decide you want something slightly different. And you know what? That's OK! Regular review of where you feel you're going and what you feel you want is a helpful way of enjoying an interesting, varied, and pleasurable life. There's no point keep working towards a goal that you no longer want. It's not failure to let go of a goal or to change it. In fact, it shows great success that you're completely in touch with who you really are and what you really want.

To finish, let me ask you again... What do you want, and why do you want it? What are the feelings that you want and what are the ways that you can achieve them right now? Enjoy!

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Raising Your Energy And Vibration

As we go through life, there are times when it feels easier and times when it feels more challenging, difficult, and, to be blunt, downright sh*tty! The latter are those times when our energy and vibration is so far down the emotional scale that it's much as we can do to get out of bed, let alone smile and be nice to someone (or even ourselves!).

Life gets easier the better we feel. That's it. That's the secret of life: Feel good. When you feel good, you raise your vibration and you really get into the flow of who you really are. And who are you? You are Source Energy having a physical experience.

There's nothing wrong per se with having days when you're feeling angry or depressed or stressed. We are here, after all, to experience all that life has to offer. However there comes a time when it's time to move on from having the same old experiences over and over again - especially when they're the ones that don't feel good. We've experienced them - time to move on.

I admit that it's not always easy to get one's self out of the doldrums or the rut we've created for ourselves. However, if we take small steps back up the vibrational scale we'll be buzzing before we know it! To that end, here are some ways get your energy buzzing, flowing, and practically zinging along!

Put on some music that makes you feel good! (Personally I like a bit of 80s to get my feet tapping and put a smile on my face!)
Put some music on and dance around the house to it
Read a book that makes you feel good
Watch a film that makes you laugh
Watch a film that makes you feel good
Have a good sing - doesn't matter whether you think you can sing well, just go for it and enjoy yourself
Get out into nature, or at least to a park if the countryside is not close. By the sea is also a great place to be (even if it's just sitting or standing in your own small garden)
Go for a walk into the daylight - natural daylight is so good for helping us produce happy chemicals in our brain
Call a friend who you enjoy chatting to
Sit stroking your pet (cat, dog, rabbit, etc) (if you have one). It's amazing at how good that can make you feel
Clear out a room in your home that needs sorting
Repeat some affirmations of positive thoughts
Sit quietly and just do some deep breathing
Do some EFT tapping to help release fears, phobias, and limiting beliefs
Find thoughts that feel slightly better than where you are right now
Grab a vibrational essence or two such as the Bach Flower Remedies or Essences of Illumination (shameless plug there!)

There you go for starters... 15 quite easy, simple, and in-expensive ways of starting to shift your vibration and feel good. I'm sure you can think of more, easy-to-do things that help you feel good. You have a choice - you can choose to sit and wallow for ages and ages, or you can choose to do things and find thoughts that make you feel better. No one's forcing you one way or another. But remember: the better you feel, the less resistance you have, the higher your vibration, the easier your life becomes.

I've made my choice... now where did I put those 80s Cds?!!!!

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EFT For Setting Goals And Aims

You know that I'm an advocate of EFT and how brilliant it can be in helping people change their life to be more of what they want it to be. In light of that, I thought I'd share with you a bit of EFT tapping which is very much related to the theme of this Newsletter "Creating the life that you want".

The articles above are related to deciding what want, why you want it, and how to create it. Having said all that, I know how tough and challenging it can be just getting yourself started and motivated to think about what you want and write down your goals and aims. So here's some tapping to help shift your vibration from feeling overwhelmed by it all, to feeling good.

Tapping on Karate Chop Point:

Even though I just cannot be bothered to even think about goals and aims, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself anyway
Even though I feel so overwhelmed by the whole affair of deciding what I want in my life, I'm just going to honour myself and all my feelings anyway
Even though it's just too much effort that's required, and just don't have the energy to focus on what I really want in life, I choose to allow myself to do it anyway

Tapping through the points (EB - Eyebrow, SE - Side of Eye, UE - Under Eye, UN - Under Nose, CP - Chin Point, CB - Collarbone, UA - Under Arm, TH - Top of Head)

EB I just can't be bothered to set these goals
SE I can't even be bothered to think about it
UE Why should I?!
UN I don't want to
CP It's goo much hard work
CB It's too much to do
UA I've got too many other things I need to be doing
TH What's the point of writing them, they never happen anyway
EB I refuse to write my goals and aims
SE Who am I to even have goals and aims
UE Goals and aims are for successful people
UN And I'm not successful
CP Nope - not going to do it
CB Don't want to do it
UA I only do it to make others happy anyway
TH And anyway, it's such a waste of my time and energy

Karate Chop Point:
Even though I still have all this angst and fear and frustration about setting goals and aims, I choose to let it go now
Even though I feel pressured to write goals and aims, I know that I don't have to do anything I don't want to
Even though I don't even know where to start on writing my goals and aims, I choose at least think about things that I would like in my life

Tapping through the points:

EB Nope I still don't want to have to write them down
SE I wonder if there's a way to focus on my goals and aims that's more fun?
UE There might be
UN Not sure what it is though
CP Maybe there's a way
CB Maybe there isn't
UA But there could be a way
TH This is a universe of infinite possibility, so it is possible I could find a way
EB I still refuse to be bullied into writing down my goals and aims
SE Am I being bullied?
UE Really?
UN Who's pressuring me?
CP No one really
CB It's totally my choice whether to do it or not
UA So I could choose to do it because I want to, not because I have to
TH Maybe I could have a go

Karate Chop Point:

Even though I still have these remaining blocks and fears about goals, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself
Even though I still think it's going to be a lot of hard work, I choose to find ways of making it more fun and enjoyable
Even though I'm still not sure exactly what I want, I completely honour where I am and all my thoughts about this

EB I still don't think I can do it
SE What if I do them wrong?
UE What if other people don't approve of them?
UN Hell, who am I writing them for?! Me or someone else?!
CP Well me of course!
CB So I can write down whatever I want
UA And I know the Universe will always support me in achieving them
TH So maybe I could have a go and write down just one or two
EB My goals and aims are for me - not for anyone else
SE I don't even need to show anyone else what they are!
UE I choose to let go of all this pressure about goals and aims and sharing them
UN I can feel the relief already that I can choose to do what I like
CP Hell I can even have an aim of not having any aims!
UA I'm feeling a lot better about thinking about what I want
TH I am enough, and I get to choose whatever I want in my
life - and that feels good!

These are quite generic routines, and you may notice as you work through them that related/other issues or blocks come up for you. That's OK. Write them down, and then do some tapping on those particular issues. The more you clear down all this stuff that's holding you back, the easier it will be for you to create the life you want.

If you need help with any of this... you know where I am! In the meantime... happy manifesting!

One of the wonderful things about life is that we get to choose how we experience it. It's totally up to us whether we choose to enjoy it or not. Not sure if you've ever thought about it that way before, but it really is quite mind-blowing when you think about it. No one else can control what you think, or how you feel, or, more importantly, how you choose to experience life.

This is not to say that life will not be challenging at times. Of course it is. But that is one of the main reasons we chose to incarnate. The more challenges and things we experience, the more we recognise that which we are not and so can experience more clearly that which we really are.

It's probably true to say that if life was so unchallenging for you that everything was easy, and that everything you chose to undertake there was no doubt whatsoever that you would achieve the end goal without much effort, you'd quickly get bored and disinterested.

What would benefit us more is if we took control of our thoughts and perceptions and realised that we create the life we're living in order to enjoy the experiences. It's no one else's fault for what we experience, and it's no one else's responsibility to create experiences for us. For the latter to happen we would need to lose the option of freewill - which is impossible.

The flipside of all this, of course, is that we also are not responsible for others' are choosing to experience. I think one of the hardest lessons that we learn in life is that we cannot be responsible for what someone else chooses to think, do, or experience. It can be quite upsetting at times seeing someone you love going through (what appears to you to be) a hard time, knowing that they don't actually need to. However, you're also making a massive assumption here that their soul is having a hard time and would prefer a different experience that you would consider to be more enjoyable. How can you really know that?

Remember what I said at the top, we have this physical life in order to have billions and trillions of opportunities to experience everything we are not, in order to experience that which we are. Can you really know that another person hasn't gone about creating a challenging situation on purpose in order to experience something? The Soul/Higher Self absolutely knows that you are perfectly safe, no matter what happens to you. You could get knocked over by a bus and "appear to snuff it" and yet you haven't really died at all. Your Soul knows this.

It's time to stop trying to forcing our thoughts and perceptions upon others' lives and allow them to make choices that work for them in terms of creating and manifesting the things they wish to experience. This doesn't mean don't offer help, or advice. It means offer it from a place of unconditional love and support, and not from a place of trying to save them or force them to do what you think would be better for them. I'll say it bluntly you never know what is best for another person. Never. "But" I hear you reply, "what about children". To a degree, yes. Children are slightly different, especially when they are unable to communicate choices and decisions in ways that we can understand. But everyone has their own compass and they will learn to navigate using it. You can teach children how to tap into their navigation system - indeed that's a wonderful and very honouring thing to do. You can give them advice and guidance. BUT you cannot force them to take it and neither is it your responsibility to do so.

The key point here is, focus upon managing your own thoughts and feelings, and what you wish to create, manifest and experience - and allow others the freewill to do the same.

Tough stuff here I know... and if you really do want to experience unconditional love for self and others, you'll respect their choices when it comes to creating the life they wish to experience.