Last night I was watching Larkrise to Candleford (which is a period drama surrounding a town and a hamlet, specifically focused upon the Post Office). Dorkus, who owns the Post Office, was in a dilemma about whether to sell the Post Office to secure positions for her staff or keep it and end up losing them. This was all due to an event years ago where she’d let someone down. Despite deeply regretting it and trying to put it right, the other person just continued to try and make her life hell and “pay her back” for what she’d done to him. In the end…. Well you’ll just have to watch it to see what happens! BUT, suffice to say, it all works out for the best one way or another.

It can be incredibly upsetting to see people around us staunchly hanging onto old hurts and putting so much energy into “paying back” others for the pain which was caused. Whether or not the pain was caused intentionally in the first place, I ask is it help to keep hanging onto it? More often than not, when we don’t let go, it is us who suffers the most. Surely that’s just a waste of energy and focus? Were we really put on this earth to “get back” at those who’ve hurt us (whether inadvertently or not?).

Real forgiveness can take some time, admittedly, and one cannot always just forgive overnight. As I have said before – forgiveness does not mean that what was done was “right”, just that one is prepared to let it go and move on. If you find yourself really unable to forgive right now, it can be much more helpful to disengage (whether for the short, medium, or long-term) rather than keep prodding at the wound.

Hanging onto hurt and nurturing the pain it is a bit like realising you have a bad cut on your arm that needs time to heal, and yet you keep pulling at it. Some hurts will heal with some antiseptic cream and a plaster, and others need a visit to hospital and some stitches – maybe even a hospital stay. Taking responsibility for how we feel and for own healing is a huge step along the way to forgiveness and our happiness. Is it really that helpful to continue hanging onto pain years after the event? Just think of all the other things a person can achieve if he/she wasn’t wasting energy focusing on something that has now gone. There’s only so long we can blame others for stopping us moving forward.

When refusing to let go of an old hurt because of pride and resentment, who then becomes the creator of unhappiness for all concerned? The original person who caused the hurt, or the person who will not let it go?

I remember a brilliant quote channeled by Esther Hicks during one hers and Jerry’s Law of Attraction events:

“What is it I am focusing upon in the other person that is stopping me from connecting with who I really am?”

Let’s face it, when we are connected with the Deep Soul within, the Authentic Soul which is full of Purity, we know and understand that NOTHING can really harm us. We are Infinite Beings of Light and Love – part of The All That Is – which is Pure, Perfect Love. It is only when we identify and connect with the Ego Self, which will have us believe that we “need to pay the person back” that we feel discontentment, resentment, and the need for revenge. I know which one I like to choose to connect with. Of course I, like you and so many others, don’t always make the connected straight away, but that’s so where I like to be in the end: connected to Pure, Perfect, Love.

I’ll leave you with this thought – when it comes to healing hurts and wounds, it can be better to disengage rather than dis-empower.

"We have to believe that even the briefest of human connections can heal. Otherwise, life is unbearable" ~ Agate Nesaule

Over the last week I have had a few clients (5 to give you the exact figure) approach me, in one way or another, about dealing with anger and forgiveness. Now when the Universe sends me this kind of thing I usually take notice. If I don’t then the Universe just makes the nudge a little stronger! It got me to thinking about it over the last two days – forgiveness that is. It can be so easy to hang onto and harbour resentment to those whom we believe have hurt us. I know there are going to be messages in my musings today that will push some buttons in some. There will be those who agree with me. Those who don’t. And that’s absolutely fine. We are all where we are and we are all doing the best we can with what we have.

Let me start, then, by saying: Forgiveness is a choice we make moment to moment. Do we forgive someone and begin to move on? Or do we allow ourselves to stand still – or even move backwards? “That’s easy to say not easy to do” is what I hear quite regularly. And my answer is – it’s as easy as we choose to make it. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you think what they did was right, or helpful. It means that you’re prepared to let it go and not allow it to hold the other person and, as importantly, yourself back.

As we go through life we experience things – experience “contrast” if you like and that can be the prompt for us to think and feel lots of different things. But let’s be clear – that’s why we wanted this physical experience in the first place! To experience contrast! Once something has happened it’s up to us to learn from it so that we, and Consciousness as a whole, can grow and evolve. It can be painful at first, but by forgiving we can heal that pain so much more quickly.

It is true that my own mother and I have not always seen eye-to-eye and there have been some quite… how shall I put it… “contrasting experiences” between us! Mostly I feel I’ve let go of the things that I feel hurt by but, every now and then, something will pop into my head about something that happened that sparks an angry and resentful reaction within me. It is then, in those moments, that I do my very best to breathe it out, and let it go. My mother and I are not who we were then. We have both grown. We have both learned. And, most importantly, we have moved on. Why allow myself to go back to that time and experience again and again the things that I felt hurt by? Why resent my mother now and cause current distress for things that have happened in the past? Clearly that is my stuff causing problems in The Now, and not hers. Forgiveness is a choice we make moment to moment.

Let’s take a brief look at the life of Jesus. He spent his life teaching, helping, healing, and learning and, all through it, he dealt with anger and resentment from others who were not ready to hear his message. At the end of it all, he was ridiculed, whipped with a scourge, had a crown of thorns put on his head, and then was nailed to a cross and left to die. I’m not sure if you know, but (as I understand it) the crosses then also had a little platform for those being crucified to use to rest upon. Hanging from your arms alone makes it incredibly difficult to breathe and so many people died on the cross through suffocation. Now that platform was not put there to ease the pain, but to prolong it. After all this, Jesus still managed to be completely forgiving to those that had tortured and hurt him. Surely, if one man can forgive so much, we can forgive too? Forgiveness is a choice we make moment to moment.

To finish off this week’s musing, then, I’ll ask: “do you want to be right or do you want love?” Do your very best to let go of anger as it’s just the Ego Self’s way of keeping you in a place of fear and pain. No one can ask more of you than you at least try to forgive and move on. And that includes forgiving yourself. Remember, forgiveness doesn’t mean what was done was right, just that you’re prepared to let it go and find peace. Forgiveness is a choice we make, moment to moment.

It gives me absolute, joyful pleasure in announcing the official launch of the Essences of Illumination and Essences of Illuminatrix website.... Karen Peach and I have been working on these essences, the readings, and the website itself for nearly a year now. It's wonderful to see the tree of our loving labours beginning to bear delicious fruit!

You can find the website here

Any feedback you may have is always appreciated (as long as it is constructive of course!)

I will leave it here and all you now to experience the wonderful, balanced energy which is The Essences of Illumination/Illuminatrix

With love and Illuminating Blessings
Alun and Karen

It’s very easy to get caught up in doing things and behaving in a way that the world expects you to. There is such a pressure upon us to conform to the majority’s wishes. But who are you? Underneath the persona and image that you present to the world, and to yourself for that matter, who are you really?

If you ever watch a young child, you can see them playing and behaving without feeling self conscious about what anyone else thinks. They act and think perfectly well for themselves. Then they begin to learn the boundaries of what is “acceptable behaviour” and when “they are being silly”. It is then that they begin to understand being self conscious and conforming to those around them. It is natural for a child to learn from older people what things are safe for them to do or not – and that is a good thing. What is perhaps not so helpful, is when those around them force them to behave in a way that doesn’t feel right or bring them joy.

Recently I was watching a film by Dr Wayne Dyer called “The Shift” (which is a brilliant film and well worth seeing). In the film, Wayne describes to a mother (who’s constantly on at her children because she’s terrified they’ll upset or annoy those around them) that he practices what is called “non interference”. He explains that each one of us has a compass within that guides us and we each need to learn how to use it to navigate through life. Children, indeed everyone, learns to use this compass at some point and does not need constant badgering and hassling from others to force them to do things the way the other person wants them to.

As we grow older our Ego Self tends to get more of a grip over us, how we behave, and who we portray to others. This is not who we really are. We are not the responsibilities or the role that we force upon ourselves. We are Beings of Divine Source having a physical experience. Deep within each of us is the loving, patient, joyful, sharing, creating, expanding, powerful, and beautiful authentic self. We are perfect. Whole. Connected.

Rather than trying to force others to do things and behave in the way we want them to because that would make us happy, better to connect with who we really are and then help others do the same. When we act from a place of centredness and connection with the Divine Source within, we understand that we are all connected and so do not try to force others to our will, or be negative towards them in any way.

Becoming and staying centred is not something that can necessarily be achieved easily over night. However, with each passing moment, with each passing breath, we can use our intention to connect with our pure and authentic selves. If we find we’re disconnected and being grouchy or irritable because someone isn’t doing what we want them to, it’s then that we can remind ourselves to take a deep breath and reconnect with the Divine Source within.

It’s all about choice and intention. Intend to connect with the Divine Source within you and it will become easier with time… to the point that you’re doing it without thinking about it. At the same time, when you’re interacting with others, intend to connect with their authentic self too. Aim to see past the illusion Ego Self and interactions can be a whole lot smoother and enjoyable.

What do you think of your body? Do you like it? Do you hate it? Do you think it’s OK? Do you love it? Take a few minutes just to think about your body. Are there bits that you like and bits that you don’t? What would you change if you could? And if you could change it, why would you want to change it? For yourself or to please others?

Excuse my Socratic questioning to start this week’s musing as there aren’t really any right or wrong answer to those questions. However there are helpful and unhelpful answers in terms of how you think and treat yourself.

In life, people tend to think about and treat us in a similar way to how we think about and treat ourselves. So if you don’t like the way you look then people around you will respond to that. I think many of us have days where we look in the mirror and think “do you know, I’m not half bad” and we go out feeling good. The response we get from others is typically the same I find. They smile and are much more complimentary about me. Now I’m not saying we should all go out looking for compliments – after all, at the end of the day what other people think about us and whether they think we’re “attractive” or not really doesn’t matter.

The thing to remember is this, The All That Is (of which you are most definitely a part) created the body in which your Soul currently resides. Everything that the All That Is creates is perfect and beautiful. Therefore, you must be perfect and beautiful too. Think about it this way. You have the perfect body for what you need to achieve and learn in this physical experience you’re having right now. Another body would most certainly now allow you to learn what you need to learn as effectively.

Now here’s another take on it. Masuru Emoto, is a man who did lots of experiments upon water crystals and the effect that emotions, actions and feelings had upon them. He found that when you focused angry and negative thoughts at water, the crystals within it became malformed and unpleasant to look at. Whereas when positive, happy, and joyful thoughts were focused the crystals became even more beautiful and wonderfully formed.

Why am I telling you about this obscure Japanese Scientist? Well… think about your body again for a moment. It is made up of around 70% water. So…. If we take the principle that your thoughts and emotions affect water crystals in a glass of water, they will also affect the water within your own body. Ergo, the better you think about yourself the more healthy you can become. This relates too to how you think about other people. Your thoughts and feelings will have an effect upon those around you in the same way.

Now if you’ve spent most of your life telling yourself negative things about how you look “I’m fat”, “I’m ugly” “I’m not attractive” telling yourself the opposite can be quite challenging and end up being completely counter-productive. So why not try “Today I’m going to like myself more for who I am” or something one those lines. Or “just for today I’m going to love myself for me” or “I accept all of myself, deeply and completely”. Not only will this have a positive effect upon your physical body, it will also help to reprogram your subconscious mind.

Remember, energy follows thought – this has been demonstrated both by Mr Emoto, and other quantum physicists around the world. You literally “are what you think”. Final reminder – you are a beautiful being and everything about you is perfect right now. I’ll say it again – you have the perfect body right now to teach you everything you need for this physical experience. Love it and appreciate it for giving you the opportunity to have this physical experience.