For many people, the New Year brought with it goals, aims, objectives, and dreams which they want to achieve by the end of the year and beyond. The first few days everything goes well with lots of “feeling good” emotions going on which provides the driving force to achieve what they want. However, we’re getting to a crucial time where the initial “drive” can begin to wane somewhat, especially when it comes to things like giving up smoking or losing weight.

Let me take you back to when you were learning to ride a bike or learning to swim, or even learning to walk! Have you ever watched a baby learning to walk? They just keep on trying – no matter how many times they fall over, they just get up and try again. Even if they get hurt falling over and have a cry, they still carry on trying. Why do you think that is? Partly to do with a hereditary push to walk, no one has told the child to stop learning or that it’s “too difficult so give up”.

As we grow up, we learn that there are certain things that we don’t have to do to live but if we did them we’d probably be a lot happier. At school we learned things because we were told to and because we knew that, if we didn’t, we’d either get into trouble or not get good results in exams etc. At work we do our work because we know if we don’t we’ll get told off or potentially fired. Do you see the link here? Very often in our lives we’ve done things and kept at them because we’ve feared what the consequences might be if we don’t. So when it comes to our personal lives there isn’t this fear and so it’s easier to “give up”.

So for the things you want to achieve, let us look at it another way. Do we really need to be motivated by fear to get things done? Can we not be motivated by other means instead? Such as feeling fantastic when we’ve done what we wanted to do? Such as feeling the relief when we see how our bank balance has improved? Such as feeling the joy when we can fit into that pair of jeans that have been sitting in the wardrobe for 2 years gathering dust? And so on.

Now is a crucial time for keeping on going. Results aren’t always necessarily obvious at first and that can be a bit disheartening. That’s why focusing on all the good things that will happen as a result of your having done what you said you’d do can really help keep you motivated. Every January I stop drinking alcohol for the whole month, and I also give something up during lent. Neither of these are particularly focused on anything religious or being healthy for me. In my case I do it to prove to myself that I can achieve anything I want if I just keep going.

So while you’re thinking about your aims and dreams for this year, start writing down what it will look like when you’ve achieve it. What will you hear said about you and what will you say? How will you feel? What will success taste and smell like? Keep this near you for those moments when you feel like giving in. Talk to others to help keep yourself motivated and so on. One last thing to remember, it’s just when we’re about to give up that things either get easier or are about to be achieved. As Kate Bush sings:

“Don't give up
'Cause you have friends
Don't give up
You're not beaten yet
Don't give up
I know you can make it good”

So believe in yourself, keep on going, and know that, at the end of the day, you are worth investing your time and effort into – never forget that. Oh and one other last thing… it only takes about 21 days to make something into a habit