When I was very young, my sister and I used to listen to a record (an LP… so quite a long time ago!) which was an adventure story about Noddy and Big Ears for children. The story was based on the lines of Noddy feeling self confident and being proud of who he was. However, he took it too far and became quite arrogant which resulted in his head swelling so much that his hat wouldn’t fit. He was rude to people because he wanted them to see how clever he was. His friends offered to help him but at first he ignored them and told them he didn’t need their help. Eventually he found that returning to school was the only thing he could do to learn that others were just as clever as he, albeit in slightly different ways. Eventually Noddy realised how over-proud he’d been and his head reduced to its normal size meaning he could wear his hat again.

I hope you enjoyed that little story ☺ Now the lesson here for Noddy was to learn humility and not be arrogant. There are also elements here of not comparing ourselves with others and judging them (and ourselves) negatively.

Whilst it is not helpful to be arrogant and overly-proud, neither is it helpful to be so humble as to disrespect all the things we have achieved. It’s OK to feel good about yourself and the things that you have achieved. As the quote by Marianne Wiliamson suggests, when we love and respect ourselves (honestly and without arrogance) we help others to see that they can do that too. If we keep putting ourselves down not only does it make us feel bad, and not only are we giving others permission to do the same to us, we’re also showing them that it’s OK to that to themselves too! Children watch their parents and guardians and emulate their behaviour. If we cannot love and respect ourselves how on earth can we expect those we teach, and those around us to love and respect themselves and us as well?

At the start of each year many of us make New Year’s Resolutions, or define goals, aims, achievements for the forthcoming year. As part of that process it’s good to have milestones in place so you can track your progress and see how far you’ve come. It’s also good to build in treats and rewards (or whatever you prefer to call them) as well. If you don’t honour yourself and the steps you’ve taken so, can you really expect to achieve what you set out to?

If you feel you’ve done a good job it’s OK to feel good about it. If you’re pleased with something you’ve achieved, or a situation you’ve handled, or someone you’ve helped, etc, etc, that’s OK! It’s even OK to talk to people about it… where it becomes unhelpful is when that’s the only thing you talk about and when you start thinking you are better than everyone else. It’s not a case of “being better than others”, it’s about loving and respecting yourself for the journey you’re on and the wonderful steps forward you are taking.

Be aware of how you speak to yourself when you’ve done something that, if someone else had done it, you’d have congratulated them. Remember, the more you love and respect yourself, the more you give permission to others to do the same for themselves and for you.