“That’s easier said than done” is a phrase I hear quite often. Sorry to smack this to you in such a blunt way at the beginning today – that’s an excuse we use at times not to do what we know would be most helpful or beneficial. Things in life can be as easy as we choose to make them. Things in life are as easy as we tell ourselves they will be. For example, if you keep telling yourself that “cleaning the house is hard work” guess what – it will be!

There are a couple of themes that go with this phrase so it’s not as straight forward as it looks. Firstly, when we’re aiming to change our lives by focusing upon positive things the chances are that, when we start, it’s reasonably easy. Then we find ourselves falling back into the patterns of previous behaviour. From that we can either choose to persist and continue refocusing, or we can say “well I tried that and I couldn’t do it. It’s easier said than done”. We also expect ourselves to change overnight “I’ve made my decision to focus only on this all the time and that’s what I’ll do. And if I don’t, then I’m a failure” (or words to that effect!).

The thing here is – we don’t cut ourselves (and sometimes others too) any slack these changes that are being made. It’s an all or nothing approach. What about another phrase to help here “Rome wasn’t built in a day”.

Secondly, when we say “that’s easier said than done” it can be because we have such a lack of belief in ourselves and our abilities (for whatever reasons) that we’re already setting ourselves up to fail. Then, when we do, we can say to people “See I was right – easier said than done”. If we were to put as much tenacity and effort into believing that we can achieve what it is we want rather than trying to prove to ourselves that we can’t we’d get a whole lot more done. “That’s easier said than done” I hear some say!

Caterpillar's don't change into butterflies or moths overnight. They take time to change. They focus on what it is they want and get to it. Imagine if a caterpillar decided not to build a cocoon because it's not something it has done before and so decides "ah building that cocoon is easier said than done". Or a squirrel learning new ways to steal the nuts from the bird feeder! If you watch nature, nature will always find a way. May take days, weeks, months, or even years BUT, it still gets to where it need to be in the end. It doesn't stop and stay still with the phrase "ah but that's easier said than done".

Every day it can be easier to change if we give ourselves permission to do so. Rather than be harsh on ourselves and tell ourselves “I’ve failed”, acknowledge where you’ve not hit the mark, learn, let go, and re-focus. None of this “Oh I’m crap. I’ll never get it right. It’s too hard. I can’t do it because. It’s easier for him/her because… It’s easier said than done”. What about “Oops – I notice I’m not focusing on positive things so I’ll breathe that out (exhale) and then refocus on things that are more positive”. Broken record. Breathe out whenever you notice you’re not doing what it is you want to do, and then refocus on what you do want. You’ll be quite surprised how quickly time passes and you can begin to notice how much more easily you’re getting things done. It can be quite amusing to see how much easier it was in the end.

Today is Winter Solstice. A brilliant day for letting go of the phrase “it’s easier said than done”. And please don’t say “that’s easier said than done”! What about “I choose to do my very best to change and I appreciate myself for doing so”